I can prove that Zombies are real

Not only are they real, but they are (apparently) prevalent in downtown Houston. If zombies don't exist, then why would there be a task force dedicated to the complete eradication of the zombie population? Exactly. Such an organization wouldn't exist.  The group's very presence indicates that a likely zombie coup is in the works.

As far as organizations go, I think this Zombie Insurgency Eradicator group is probably really strong. I know they have good employee benefits. They even have a car allowance.

THAT (below) is the Zombie Outbreak Response Vehicle.  For reals.

I am not really afraid of zombies. I mean, they have excellent endurance, but they're REALLY slow runners.  If I get a good head start, I'm pretty sure it would take a zombie several blocks to catch up to me.

Have a great Halloween weekend, y'all!