New Years Eve 2011 - how the new old folks do it

A couple of years ago I went to a house party on New Years Eve. Actually, I went to 2 house parties.  I had invited a date (let's call him Ed) to go with me to both parties. Earlier on New Years Eve, around 5 or 6pm, Ed calls me and asks if he can bring someone to the party with us. Uh..."someone"? Yeah. I guess he inadvertently invited a date to go on our date.

Ed and I met up at Party #1. He had his date with him and all 3 of us went in. It was more than comical. I'd never been to this couple's house before, but I knew of them and I was specifically invited to the party. While we were there, I made it clear that I was unhappy with Ed bringing an extra date...when I'm uncomfortable, I tend to say mean things. I was very uncharitable to the extra date girl, but really? Who invites herself on someone else's NYE date? Damn desperate.  Anyway, I ran into another couple that I was vaguely acquainted with. The wife asked me who my date was - when I pointed him out, she looked at me and said, "um, who brings sand to the beach?" Exactly. I decided that it was time for me to make an exit and go to Party#2 so I could really let loose. I gave Ed the address for Party#2 and I made it clear that his friend would not be welcome at Party#2 since it was a By-Invitation-only, fully *ahem* adult party.

I don't remember what exactly happened, but I do know Ed showed up at Party#2 at some point, sans extra date. I was told he partied for a while and then left. It didn't matter much to me...I was very busy getting my adult party on. I left that party at 8am. I went home, showered, took a 2 hour nap and went back over to the house to continue partying for the rest of the weekend.  It was one for the books. 

That was the last real outlandish NYE party I attended. This year I wanted to fly away for a 24 hour turnaround trip. It was going to be a surprise for Baby...a la "pack an overnight bag and grab your ID. You'll find out where we're going once we get to the gate." However, between the thought and the execution, the air fare doubled and my plans were foiled.  So, we'll be going to an NBA game and chilling in a hotel downtown for NYE like some old folks. I better pack my fishnets and thigh high boots.

I am really bitter about the salaries of sports athletes

So, I've decided to get some professional sports tickets for Baby for Christmas - our NBA is back on, the NFL team is in the playoffs, we have a college bowl game coming in January. So, I go online to buy a handful of random NBA tickets and, WHAT THE FUCK? If I want to sit in a seat and actually SEE the basketball court, the tickets for certain games are outrageous!!! Baby happens to be a Lakers fan. In March, the Houston Rockets host the LA Lakers. But the tickets?  Check it out for yourself....

Rockets Vs. Lakers Tickets

To get the half decent seats, I'd have to spend 1/2 my rent money.  The HELL? And why, WHY do these teams need to charge that much money for simple tickets. It's not like we're asking to sit in an owners box. Or even at floor level. It's astounding. It would be cheaper to FLY to Los Angeles.

Which is also why I encourage my son to do well in sports and get a college scholarship *heh heh*....I have no problem with him having a piece of that pie!

And then there were three....my son's first love +1

This not a mommy-blog, HOWEVER, since I am a mom and I do have kids, I feel the need to share this little tidbit. Only because it's one of those things I'll get to keep in the vault and SLING-SHOT back to my son on his wedding day. Or prom night.  One of those.

My 13-year old son had his first date this past weekend.  Yeah. I said it. He "got" a new girlfriend on Friday. How did he "get" her? I guess he met her on facebook or something and they decided to meet up at a skating rink. Hold on....FUCK ME. Okay, now that I'm thinking about it, this is some creepish, pedophile shit, potentially.  DAMMIT! OMG, I fail at motherhood. I promise, it didn't even occur to me until right this second that this was a BAD idea all the way around. Except that it turned out fine. But it COULD have been a horrible kidnapping, arse-fucking situation. *sigh* I need lessons or an intervention or some medical assistance...

Anyway, my son goes to the roller skating rink a couple of Fridays per month when his grades are good and his attitude isn't making me feel murderous. Last Friday, he says he's going to meet up with his girlfriend. Um, "what girlfriend" is what I'm thinking, but....whatever. Here's the funny part - he got there at 7pm but he says he was texting her until 945pm and then he finally met her. He saw a cute girl fall down on her skates, so he went over to help her. She looked up and said, "are you Kendall?" And that's the first time he met her face to face.

This technology age is so damn weird. But he's all smitten and it's really kind of cute. Also, it's working out really well for me. If he wants his phone or he wants to go out, he gets to do extra chores. CHA-CHING.

Sunday, they have a movie date *insert giggles and jeers* Oh, but here's the very best part...her mom is going to accompany them. Oh how I LOVE this! The plan was, the mom would go see a different movie in the same facility. I'm not sure what changed her mind, but she ended up sitting two rows behind, watching the same movie as the kidlets. How awesome is that? My son's first date and the girl's mom horns in on it.

I am SO gonna invite myself to their next date :D

I'm a goddamn slimy slug on the under-belly of humanity

I'll make this short and sweet because it's an ALL OUT VENT. It has nothing to do with anything except that it's just fucking life. But it makes me very angry.

Last week my daughter had her first 4th grade choir recital thingy at her elementary school. Yippee. Here's the sequence of problems.

- We live about an hour commute from where I work.
- Daughter has to be at choir at 6:15pm
- Daughter goes to day care after school
- Day care is on my way home from work
- I work until 5pm
- Unless I leave work early, I will never get her to her school by 615pm.
- My job HATES me. And they hate when I leave early or come in late on account of kid issues.

But guess what? That day? THAT DAY???  I didn't give a good goddamn.  I instant message my boss with "s'okay if I split 15 mins early? my kid has a choir thingy." To which the boss lady replies "ok". That 15 minutes puts me way ahead of the afternoon rush out of downtown. I know I'll probably hear about it from the fucking timecard Nazi about leaving early. But do you know what makes up for the stress of asking to leave and the Gestapo whore breathing down my neck??  THIS:

Daughter: MOM!!  You're early? OMG! You got off a little early just for ME?! *Tearing up* Thanks mom.

See?  Now I'm gonna cry.  Because my kids know that I'm literally stuck to my goddamn desk until 5pm. No matter that my boss is going to her own daughter's glee club stuff and parent-teacher conferences and play rehearsals. It only irks me because that's my level in society.  I'm a subordinate. But not for goddamn much longer. I promise I can only eat this flavor of shit for so long.

Don't get me wrong. I need this job. But moreso, I need my kids to know I love them. And now I'm crying again.

Obviously, I gotta get these hormones under control.

I can prove that Zombies are real

Not only are they real, but they are (apparently) prevalent in downtown Houston. If zombies don't exist, then why would there be a task force dedicated to the complete eradication of the zombie population? Exactly. Such an organization wouldn't exist.  The group's very presence indicates that a likely zombie coup is in the works.

As far as organizations go, I think this Zombie Insurgency Eradicator group is probably really strong. I know they have good employee benefits. They even have a car allowance.

THAT (below) is the Zombie Outbreak Response Vehicle.  For reals.

I am not really afraid of zombies. I mean, they have excellent endurance, but they're REALLY slow runners.  If I get a good head start, I'm pretty sure it would take a zombie several blocks to catch up to me.

Have a great Halloween weekend, y'all!

I wonder if I'll get an A+++ for my first school assignment!

Also, I hope my co-worker never finds this blog.

Here's the task:  Think of a recent occasion when you needed to have a serious and/or potentially contentious conversation with someone important to you (e.g., your parents, supervisor, romantic partner or roommate). Describe that communication interaction in terms of the seven components of the communication process (i.e., message creation, meaning creation, context, participants, etc.). If you were going to study this communication occasion, what paradigm would you use to approach it (scientific, interpretive, etc.)?  Why?

And here's my assignment entry...um.  I hope I haven't gone too far (again)....

Because I live a fairly peaceful life and I try to avoid contentious discussions, I will relay a conversation that occurred between a co-worker and my own boss [participants].  My (female) boss decide that she was uncomfortable with my co-worker’s office attire being entirely too suggestive. She e-mailed my co-worker and requested that they meet face to face [channel] before the end of the work day, as close to 5pm as possible. My co-worker agreed to meet in my boss’ office at 4:45pm that day [setting].

My boss relayed that she found my co-worker’s attire degrading and insulting, and she suggested that perhaps my co-worker could wear longer skirts and wear blouses that were less revealing of her ample cleavage [message creation]. My boss offered the explanation that, working in a conservative, service industry environment, my co-worker should make a different impression on our clients and visitors [meaning creation and context].

My co-worker was taken aback because our office does not have a written dress code.  Nor has anyone ever suggested that any staff members were in violation of an unwritten wardrobe rule. Because my boss’ glass-walled office is partially exposed to the hallway and I happen to sit immediately outside my boss’ office [noise], my coworker felt exposed and she provided very little return communication [feedback].  She listened, thanked my boss for her advice and went back to her desk.

By the way, two days later, my office received a new dress code policy.

I would study this exchange under the social science approach. I think I would like to know more about my boss’ real concern about my co-worker’s mode of dress and what drove her to open a dialog that lead to a policy change. I would also be interested to understand the reason my co-worker feels compelled to wear her pheromones to work. 

Okay.  If I get an F I'll know that I need to tone it down and start being all academic and shit.  FML, I'm probably not cut out for this kind of adult responsibility.


UPDATE:  Who's your daddy now bitches?  I got 100%. Yeah.  I'm bad.

Teenagers today are WEAK...we 80's kids knew how to get our Teen on

I wasn't a good teenager.  I was trouble. Drugs, parties, running away.  Oh, I've got some fun stories.  Like the time my friend Margo and I took off, got on a Greyhound, took it as far as our money would take us (1/2 way to our final intended destination), started hitchhiking, wound up at some old dude's house, too much weed and hashish, got back out on the road on foot, more hitchhiking, coffee shops, Christian families who pick up hitchhiking teens, blah, blah, blah....  But this story isn't about me.  It's about one of my kids and how I am training each one to be fully evil.

*CAVEAT - none of this is illegal, so don't bother sending CPS to look for me *

When my (now 19 year old) stepdaughter was in the 9th or 10th grade, she was being harassed mercilessly by a former girlfriend, Tati. I don't know why or what really happened, but I know that they used to be best of friends and then *shrug* they weren't.  Stepdaughter would tell me stories Tati spreading rumors about my stepdaughter.  Eventually, when you give me enough ammo, you'll get a pretty cool fire-fight.

One day, my stepdaughter came to me with a note.  The note was a love letter handwritten by Tati and some horned up boy at school.  They were passing the note back and forth in class.  The note went something like this:

Boy:  So, when you gonna let me hit it?

Tati: whenever you want. You wanna come to my house? The address is ....

Boy:  Yeah.

Tati:  ok, my mom won't be home, so come over tomorrow right after school and I'll give you alllll the loving (insert lurid and graphic details of what she plans to do to the boy).

Boy: right on. I'll be there and I'll (insert lurid and graphic details of what he plans to do to Tati).

While most parents would be disturbed and outraged that 2 young people were writing back and forth in such a manner, THIS mom right here?  Meh.  I don't care.  I know kids are "doing it".  Hell I'M doing it. But again, this is not about me.

"So, uh, you want Tati to stop messing you at school? I think we can get her fully distracted enough to just leave you alone.  Gimme that note."

The next day, in an unprecedented sneak attack, hundreds of copies of that very personal handwritten note, complete with the girl's address and her (and the boy's) names/signatures, were found strewn all over the school - in the cafeteria, in the locker room, in the hallways, on the football field....

Moral?  Don't fuck with my kids.  I have a lot of pent up teenage angst to unleash.