Tuesday, November 29, 2011

And then there were three....my son's first love +1

This not a mommy-blog, HOWEVER, since I am a mom and I do have kids, I feel the need to share this little tidbit. Only because it's one of those things I'll get to keep in the vault and SLING-SHOT back to my son on his wedding day. Or prom night.  One of those.

My 13-year old son had his first date this past weekend.  Yeah. I said it. He "got" a new girlfriend on Friday. How did he "get" her? I guess he met her on facebook or something and they decided to meet up at a skating rink. Hold on....FUCK ME. Okay, now that I'm thinking about it, this is some creepish, pedophile shit, potentially.  DAMMIT! OMG, I fail at motherhood. I promise, it didn't even occur to me until right this second that this was a BAD idea all the way around. Except that it turned out fine. But it COULD have been a horrible kidnapping, arse-fucking situation. *sigh* I need lessons or an intervention or some medical assistance...

Anyway, my son goes to the roller skating rink a couple of Fridays per month when his grades are good and his attitude isn't making me feel murderous. Last Friday, he says he's going to meet up with his girlfriend. Um, "what girlfriend" is what I'm thinking, but....whatever. Here's the funny part - he got there at 7pm but he says he was texting her until 945pm and then he finally met her. He saw a cute girl fall down on her skates, so he went over to help her. She looked up and said, "are you Kendall?" And that's the first time he met her face to face.

This technology age is so damn weird. But he's all smitten and it's really kind of cute. Also, it's working out really well for me. If he wants his phone or he wants to go out, he gets to do extra chores. CHA-CHING.

Sunday, they have a movie date *insert giggles and jeers* Oh, but here's the very best part...her mom is going to accompany them. Oh how I LOVE this! The plan was, the mom would go see a different movie in the same facility. I'm not sure what changed her mind, but she ended up sitting two rows behind, watching the same movie as the kidlets. How awesome is that? My son's first date and the girl's mom horns in on it.

I am SO gonna invite myself to their next date :D

Monday, November 14, 2011

I'm a goddamn slimy slug on the under-belly of humanity

I'll make this short and sweet because it's an ALL OUT VENT. It has nothing to do with anything except that it's just fucking life. But it makes me very angry.

Last week my daughter had her first 4th grade choir recital thingy at her elementary school. Yippee. Here's the sequence of problems.

- We live about an hour commute from where I work.
- Daughter has to be at choir at 6:15pm
- Daughter goes to day care after school
- Day care is on my way home from work
- I work until 5pm
- Unless I leave work early, I will never get her to her school by 615pm.
- My job HATES me. And they hate when I leave early or come in late on account of kid issues.

But guess what? That day? THAT DAY???  I didn't give a good goddamn.  I instant message my boss with "s'okay if I split 15 mins early? my kid has a choir thingy." To which the boss lady replies "ok". That 15 minutes puts me way ahead of the afternoon rush out of downtown. I know I'll probably hear about it from the fucking timecard Nazi about leaving early. But do you know what makes up for the stress of asking to leave and the Gestapo whore breathing down my neck??  THIS:

Daughter: MOM!!  You're early? OMG! You got off a little early just for ME?! *Tearing up* Thanks mom.

See?  Now I'm gonna cry.  Because my kids know that I'm literally stuck to my goddamn desk until 5pm. No matter that my boss is going to her own daughter's glee club stuff and parent-teacher conferences and play rehearsals. It only irks me because that's my level in society.  I'm a subordinate. But not for goddamn much longer. I promise I can only eat this flavor of shit for so long.

Don't get me wrong. I need this job. But moreso, I need my kids to know I love them. And now I'm crying again.

Obviously, I gotta get these hormones under control.