I'll make this short and sweet because it's an ALL OUT VENT. It has nothing to do with anything except that it's just fucking life. But it makes me very angry.
Last week my daughter had her first 4th grade choir recital thingy at her elementary school. Yippee. Here's the sequence of problems.
- We live about an hour commute from where I work.
- Daughter has to be at choir at 6:15pm
- Daughter goes to day care after school
- Day care is on my way home from work
- I work until 5pm
- Unless I leave work early, I will never get her to her school by 615pm.
- My job HATES me. And they hate when I leave early or come in late on account of kid issues.
But guess what? That day? THAT DAY??? I didn't give a good goddamn. I instant message my boss with "s'okay if I split 15 mins early? my kid has a choir thingy." To which the boss lady replies "ok". That 15 minutes puts me way ahead of the afternoon rush out of downtown. I know I'll probably hear about it from the fucking timecard Nazi about leaving early. But do you know what makes up for the stress of asking to leave and the Gestapo whore breathing down my neck?? THIS:
Daughter: MOM!! You're early? OMG! You got off a little early just for ME?! *Tearing up* Thanks mom.
See? Now I'm gonna cry. Because my kids know that I'm literally stuck to my goddamn desk until 5pm. No matter that my boss is going to her own daughter's glee club stuff and parent-teacher conferences and play rehearsals. It only irks me because that's my level in society. I'm a subordinate. But not for goddamn much longer. I promise I can only eat this flavor of shit for so long.
Don't get me wrong. I need this job. But moreso, I need my kids to know I love them. And now I'm crying again.
Obviously, I gotta get these hormones under control.
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