Friday, August 5, 2011

Precious Moments of an Intoxicated Child

Son 13-yo is having surgery.  I mean, he is currently having surgery right this exact instant. I'm in the pediatric waiting room. There's a woman sitting behind me - we're separated by glass.  However, she's so close she could read what I'm writing right now. It's disconcerting. Also, why is it so cold in here? I feel like I'm sitting in a very colorful and sparkly server room.

While in pre-op, the nurse gave my son some versed to keep him relaxed before the procedure.  He drank it down and we waited.  For a short 5 minutes or so.  He insisted that he didn't feel a thiiiiing and he then mentioned something about Mr. T.

Me: You mean Dr. T. [the surgeon's name is too long to pronounce, so everyone calls him dr. T]

Son: Yeah.  Mr. T.

Son: stares off into the horizon....He pities the fool.

Mmmmm'kay baby.  I think the versed has kicked in.

Son lays back in the bed and then suddenly leans out of it to lay his head on my leg.

Son: Hambone, hambone....unghgf

Son:  what's hambone.

Son slides off the bed.... I need help now. Aso, I like theversed.  Maybe I need an intervention...

This is the best day ever.  It's the last time I'll ever watch him get high, laugh about it and insist he's more high than he thinks he is.  I shall miss this day once it's over.

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