Thursday, June 23, 2011

Hoes will be Hoes

Some of you might think that bringing your partner to a strip club is just asking for trouble.  I'd say it's just asking for extra good sex afterwards. Oh, and I'd be right.

I'm no stranger to strip clubs and I have no problem with all the sexy little things that go on there.  It's a FANTASY for men (and some women) and I think it's normal and natural for men to want to see naked women.  It's also natural for said naked ladies to want to get paid to be seen naked.  I DO think there are boundaries, though.

I took Baby to the nudie bar last weekend for his birthday.  It was a BYOB, all nude (read: no liquor license) club, which...WOOHOO!! I'm definitely down for that.  We went with another couple and overall  it was pretty entertaining.  Some of those girls were REALLY good at their job.  One stripper was VERY flexible...possibly double-jointed...maybe made of plasticine. One girl with long boobs, a big ole booty and a blonde weave came and sat on Baby's lap.  We told her it was his birthday. We all chatted for a while.  Baby told her he had no intention of giving her any money unless she was on stage.  In other words, no lap dance is gonna make you any extra cash, sweetie. We continued to chat and I noticed that her hand started to creep. that...?? Does she have...?? Is her hand on Baby's JUNK? I think the other couple must have noticed something weird was going on because the husband was trying to get rid of her.  After she finally left, I told Baby that it's really not gonna fly for the stripper to be grabbing his junk. I don't care about a lap dance, I don't care about the harmless flirting, I don't care about a lot of stuff, but she had no business touching his member.  Did I mention I was sitting right there??

About an hour later, the blonde-weave stripper was on stage and Baby went up to give her a few bucks for her dance.  I saw her reach up and try to touch his unmentionables.  He wagged his finger at her and told her to stop it. When she came off stage and came over to thank Baby for the tip, I pulled her to me and said, "Sweetie, if you ever try to tough MY DICK again, I'm gonna get real fucking angry.  Got it?? I don't wanna get angry in here."  Her eyes got all big and she said "I'm sorry!!!!" about 4 times. Goddamn right bitch.  Don't make me start cracking bottles up in here!

I don't think I remember seeing her again that night.

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