Monday, June 13, 2011

The ridiculous BIRTHDAY extravaganza!!

hide the children immediately....unless they can't ready yet.  because there's no pics, so probably you're safe...

My Baby and I share (kind of) the same birthday weekend.  His is 4 days before mine.  This year, since grandmummy has offered to take the brats, I have planned a couples massage, a nice hotel room in town and a night of strip club debauchery.  This is TAME compared to last year.

[I should mention that I really wasn't with Baby at this point last year....and you'll see why shortly]

Last year I had a 4-day birthday party.  No, I am NOT a celebrity.  I'm black.  We celebrate for any goddamn reason whatsoever.  Last year my kids  Where were my kids?? I think they must have been at their dad's.  Or my mom's.  I'm pretty sure they were somewhere safe, though because CPS never contacted me.  In any event, I left work on a Friday and immediately checked into a 4-star hotel in town.  I actually booked 1 room for night 1 and 2 rooms (adjoining) for night 2 of the festivities. The plan was to go to Club #1 Friday night with 3 other people who were also celebrating a birthday that weekend.  Then I'd invite a few specific people from that club/party back to the hotel for the afterparty. That worked out quite well...we clubbed, we ate, we drank, a few of us afterpartied (ahem....) and I was left to my own devices by 6am.  It was GLORIOUS!  I had a delicious nap and then took the laptop to lounge and surf by the pool. 

Saturday after luxuriating by the pool, I showered and waited for the occupants of hotel room 2 to arrive.  I was also waiting for a guest to come in from New Orleans. We'll just call him Big C for now.  Once everyone arrived, we were off to an afternoon Club for a few drinks.  It was a nice simple gathering with more food and more drinks in a nice open air lounge.  Very chill. Then it was back to the hotel to change for the evening activities.

Saturday night we all got jazzed up and headed out to Club #3.  By this time, Big C had had a few drinks.  Our crew consisted of about 8 people and all were planning to come back to the hotel for the Saturday afterparty. We spent about 90 minutes at Club#3 and then I was ready to was time to play :D  HOWEVER, Big C had another plan.  He needed calories.  So, we stopped at IHOP and had a snack.  I realized in the light of the restaurant that Big C was really shitfaced.  And when he gets shitfaced, he gets obnoxious. I was hoping the calories would put him in better spirits.  What it DID put him in was a coma. We got back to the hotel and Big C commandeered a bed all to himself. He disrobed and partially covered himself with a sheet.  The rest of the room got to stare at his naked ass for the next 4 hours. Not that it mattered...the show must go on!  And GO ON it did.  The debauchery and afterpartying were epic. I only know that because when the last guest left at 9am, no one seemed unhappy to have lost that much sleep.

Sunday, after a brief nap, I packed up my wares and made the 45 minute drive home.  But uno momentito!!!  We are not done YET!!  No!  Sunday night is the live music night at our favorite spot on the north side of town. we go to the girls all-white get together at Club #4 for some snacks, vino and live music.

That was some weekend party....until my favorite club promoter found out it was my birthday on that actual Tuesday.  Which is his night for another fun spot on the north side of town.  So, he put me on a flier and I was *coughcough* obligated *coughcough* to attend that club on the Tuesday.  So, Club #5 it was.  And THAT is when "Baby" texted me Happy Birthday. The only reason that's strange is that I hadn't talked to him in about 4-5 weeks and I had no IDEA he would remember when my birthday is.  But he did.   And he came to see me at Club#5.  And he brought me gifts. And he asked me "so, what are you doing for your birthday??" And I replied, "You."

And that is the end AND the beginning.

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